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How does growing up in chaos affect a child as they become an adult?

07.06.2025 11:53

How does growing up in chaos affect a child as they become an adult?

So that set me up for an unsafe environment.

When I was born my parents marriage was in utter shambles. They were too immature to be parents. They were divorced before I was three. My dad worked in retail management. My mom went to college and got a bachelor’s degree in social work. That was by day. At night waa another world.

There is no tobacco, illegal substance usage in my home. We have a celebratory bottle of wine in storage and some hard cider in our refrigerator for years. I saw to it that my children always had someone to vent to about their dad and I. We always have our bills paid making it a priority. Neither my husband nor I have a criminal history. My children rarely wore hand-me-downs. Being I had a boy and a girl you can understand why. My kids always had choices of foods at home or we got take out. If we were having financial difficulties I applied for food stamps. My children never knew that. Because it wasn’t necessary. What was important was prioritized their health and safety. The difficulties at school I left to the school to help them with accommodations when needed and tutoring . Both of my children are successful adults. * I was never able to pursue a bachelors degree because my brain cannot process beyond basic mathematics. But I do know and recognize my limitations

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My mom just wanted to be a stay at home mom and being married to this guy made no guarantee. We always had a roof over our head, our clothing was from thrift stores or hand me downs. However because of our home being without a working furnace there were many times we lacked hot water. We didn’t go to the doctor or dentist for regular checkups. I also was bullied at school for my shabby clothes or just because. The bullying never stopped. In recollection I am not sure which was safer, because I didn’t have a type of mom who would listen about my being bullied, and her husband’s abuse towards me.

As time passed my mom married again. She married a man who bet a pool game to get my mother. ( indoor bar room). There was drinking and drug use as a daily practice. And then came the sexual predator abuse to my sisters and I.

I went on to have two beautiful children who I did my best to raise. I am constantly in therapy. I have had surgeries to correct some of the negligence I suffered.

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My mom was remarried by the time I was almost 5. She married a criminal who turned our world upside down. My mother was not in good health neither was my little sister. That man let us be evicted, let our car be repossessed and watch him be arrested. When my mom married that idiot she told my dad that we didn’t need him because we moved on. My dad had no idea that my mom had married a criminal.